You Matter

You Matter

All we can do in times like these
is offer things that say to others:
You matter to me. The Mason jar
of chicken soup given to a sick neighbor,
or the clay mug shaped by the hands
of a friend, with a dog and goldfinch
painted on the side—how it arrived
in the mail unbroken. A phone call
out of the blue, or message that says:
Thinking of you. Let’s wrap each other
in gestures so true, no one ever doubts
how much they belong, no one ever
questions whether or not to stay.

for Cathy Jackson & Karen Kassinger

Just as we often underestimate the power of tiny rituals and routines to change our lives, we also forget how much we can uplift another just by offering some gesture that might seem small, but becomes life-altering for them. We know how it feels when someone lets us know that we matter, in whatever small ways. It might have been the kind words of a teacher just when we needed them growing up, or the grace given by a supervisor during a difficult time. It might be a text message from a relative, or a basket of bread left by a neighbor. This poem recounts just a few of these recent gestures of “mattering” from my own life, but the truth is, the list could have gone on and on. Jennifer B. Wallace, author of Never Enough, has been writing about the idea of “mattering” for years now, especially as it relates to younger people and mental health. She points out: “When we are made to feel that we matter for who we are at our core, we build a sturdy sense of self-worth. We learn that we matter simply because we are. Mattering is a pathway back to our inherent worth.” I have decided that this will be another of my practices in the coming year—to let others know what they mean, and how much they matter to me, each time I feel even the tiniest urge to reach out or speak to a stranger or say simply: “I’ve been thinking of you.” In these isolated and lonely times, just letting someone know they’ve been on our mind might be a revolutionary act. After all, to feel valued for exactly who we are might be the saving grace we need to stop wondering whether or not we even belong. And so I say to you, wherever you are, receiving this message: You matter to me. The fact that you take the time to read these words each week means the world to me. We all create so many positive ripples in this world and matter to each other more than we can imagine.


Invitation for Writing & Reflection: What are some of your own rituals of “mattering” that you’ve offered or received recently? If you choose to write, you might borrow a version of my first line, and begin by saying, “All I can do in times like these is . . .” then let your mind fill in the rest.

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I know that gift-giving may be over for some of you, but copies of my most recent publications, Unlocking the Heart and Boxful of Poetry (all three of my recent anthologies in a gorgeous boxed set!) are still available through my favorite indie bookstore, Battenkill Books at the links below. They'll ship to wherever you are:

Unlocking the Heart: https://www.battenkillbooks.com/book/9798887620961
Boxful of Poetry: https://www.battenkillbooks.com/book/9781635868630